Thursday, February 28, 2013
My dislike for animal patterns and prints is deep and firm, very firm. So not my cup of tea. However, this yarn, tiger patterned, I found it intriguing. It's amazing what they can make and create just by the design and colouring of yarn these days. As if the magical yarn for the magical socks wasn't enough.
Thus against my principles and deep dislike I got me a hank and have been enjoying watching the pattern grow. The beanie is finished now, rather cute, despite being all tigerish. Finished result later, alongside the plethora of beanies and caps I have been knitting lately. Once again, knitting is such a comfort, therapeutical and calming.
I used to make lots and lots of scarves and shawls, then it was the socks, wristwarmers, mittens and now it's beanies and other caps I'm completely absorbed with. I really should make an effort and put some up in the Etsy-shop I guess. Perhaps. One day. But for now I settle for the knitting being, alongside cat cuddles, fresh air and cups of tea, the best therapy in sorrow there is.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
I'm amazed that noone has come up with the idea of a granny square boots until now (at least not a maker I've seen) - brilliant idea, awesome boots, they quite obviously screamed my name. I got them as a name day treat.
When one can't have the one thing one would really like back, shoes will have to do. I'm not sure if it's completely bonkers or if it's a sign of reasonable mental stability that I can still appreciate colours, quirkiness and shoes at this moment in life. I hope for the latter.
I didn't understand that the boots were actually textile boots with some leather details, I don't mind but I would rather they had made them in sturdier textile/vegan material and omitted the leather completely. Now it's neither vegan nor exactly what I expected. Still awesome, still screams happiness loudly, but with quite another feel and weather limitations for wearing.
From ART shoes (and in same model/soles as the red maryjanes I got in Helsinki, which proved to be really comfortable). Socks from Marimekko.
PS I treasure the lovely comments and sharing of sorrow
and love for animals/dogs so very very much.
I hope you really really know that DS
Monday, February 25, 2013
This is my blog and I cry if i want to. It has been a horrific week of many tears and mood swings after the loss of darling little loaf. It's still ungraspable, new and raw, I keep expecting him to turn up everywhere. Another one of life's situations where I feel I'm living in a parallell universe, life will get back to normal any day now. But of course it will not.
the very last, happy snap of him
Malte, my Malte, is gone forever and all that's left is his bowls, three little sweaters (more for photo ops than "musts"), the collar and leash, some food, a gazillion poo bags and memories, many photos and oh so many memories. We were indeed so blessed that it was this particular wee one with which our paths met in 2003. A difficult and dark time in my life, the then tiny loaf was what got me out of bed, engaging, walking, fresh air. He was one of the main reasons I got through and out on the other side, a new person, a better person.
Since then life has certainly not been all shiny and roses, but in some aspects so much better than they were before 2003. And to have animal companions in your life is truly one of the best things there is, they always make life so so much better, come rain or shine they are always there, trusting and reliable, without any ulterior motives (if you don't count food supplying).
When we left the animal hospital a week ago - around 5.30 am, 3.38 was the time the vet called. Yes, I took a screen dump of one of the worst phone calls I've ever gotten, ah the era of smartphones... - and I was bawling my eyes out i also had this thought swirling in my mind;
His little, big heart had worked so hard all those nine years, helped me through, last year which began with so much promise was a turmoil of health issues, he was there. When I finally began feeling like my old self again, this year, it was time for him and his little, big heart to say goodbye. 'You will be fine now, I've been with you all these years, now you are ready to move on without me.' As sappy as that notion might seem, it is a comfort to think about the unthinkable like that.
I've also thought a lot about dog owning and me not really being a "dog person" as such (even if I loath such epithets, like there is just one way to be a certain animal person), I don't appreciate routines, walks at certain regular hours no matter weather, socializing with other dog owners, some dogs and their owners behaviour I really really do not understand, picking up dog poo is of course a must but I hate it - strangely enough much more than cleaning the cat litter boxes - dogs don't smell nice and clean like cats do, trimming their claws is hell compared to how easy it is with a cat, cat food is a delight compared to dog food. Often I do not get their behaviour, cat behaviour I totally get and relate to. I'm just such a cat person.
But still I love dogs and I had always wanted a dog, who would be called Malte, a small sized, shaggy one. And little loaf was fine with me not being the typical above person. He adapted into our way of life and we had our own routines.
I've had cats for over 30 years, so obviously I've had to say goodbye to quite a few of them over the years, some with extra-special personalities I still miss a lot. I've been heartbroken over them too, but I think the reason for being extra so with little loaf is that he and his ways took up so much space, you have to adjust your life around dog owning in quite another way than with cats.
I think it's amazing that it was Malte, this exact Malte, who found his way into our home and hearts, with so many features I dearly appreciate in animals and humans alike (and the less fun quirks, well we have them all and we really wouldn't be the same person without them, they live side by side with our endearing ones).
Of course I have thought a lot about whether, in due time, there will be another dog in my life. As I'm not a dog person and there will never be another one just like loaf extraordinaire and so forth. And I've come to this conclusion;
2013 will be a year where I, we, remember and mourn the loss of the best little loaf in the whole wide world, who left us far far too soon. I will concentrate on finally getting the business up and running for real, clean and rearrange, paint and redecorate the house where needed - painting and working with the pink office was so much fun - cuddle cats without a little tyke of a dog demanding attention. Basically structurize life again I suppose. Mending the broken heart.
Only then, when I, we, feel it is the right time for another dog we will not get a puppy again - it was what I needed and wanted nine years ago, today i would not want to go through all that work again - and we will get it at a shelter (or if another dog whose path crosses ours is looking for a new home). Because the world is full of beings already existing that need love and a home. The getting-a-new-dog approach than coincide with my values. I don't care if it's a pure bred, it just has to be the right size and personality of a dog. And of course it must love cats. That feature is obviously essential in any future dog companion.
Malte, the one and only loaf dog extraordinaire,
it has been such a privilege to know,
share home and love you.
You were not only shaggy adorability
with a liquorice nose incarnated,
you were a great, lovable personality
in a small sized loaf body.
Forever loved and oh so deeply missed.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Whether happy or sad I always appreciate and take comfort in colours, when there is colour everything will be alright. Somehow. Someday.
Especially when those colours are the combination of pink and green, my favourite colour combination ever.
Three such recent pink and green colour combos in this post. Above my current nailpolish. Applegreen (OPI Green-wich village) and dark pink (Essie Watermelon - I've had really disturbing and unexpected information about Essie testing their products on rabbits, so before I know more I will not get any more bottles from Essie. Just using the ones I got.) Perky is good.
Nose buddies - what can I say, I've always liked the idea of rinsing the nose with salt water but I would never ever make buddies with these, such a ridiculous and awkward shape and design. Not even pink and green can disguise that.
A thai fast-food place in Stockholm that seems very popular, haven't tried it (yet) but I adore the kiosk's colours obviously. (oasen = the oasis.)
More pink and green, with a touch of little loaf...
Saturday, February 23, 2013
blue skies, crisp air, sun in sky and in glass.
as long as i'm not at home, where everything i do, everywhere i go is a constant reminder something essential is missing, i can pretend everything is alright.
as long as i'm not at home, where everything i do, everywhere i go is a constant reminder something essential is missing, i can pretend everything is alright.
Friday, February 22, 2013
My obvious first and great wish for this year's name day would be that this last dreadful week was completely erased, but alas I can't see that happening. Reading about last year's Pia-day I wish that was now, alas that was then.
My mum treated me to a nice lunch, it was a strange feeling of spring in the air, even with sorrow as a constant companion. Tomorrow, when M gets home from a business trip, I think we'll do something nice too. Life goes on, somehow.
Thank you so so kindly and dearly for all sweet and caring comments left in blog during this truly awful week. I treasure them all deeply.
Knitting, fresh air, baking, cat cuddles and lots and lots of cups of tea are other things that keep me reasonably sane.
Today we also enjoyed freshly baked lemon polenta spelt cookies and another little inspector.
Have a lovely,
treat yourselves to something special ~
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Stumbled over some pretty, cosy Pippi-patterned socks (the small navy ones for my mother, the white one for me). And although they are cute and fun the most obvious thing about them, at this moment in time, is the fact that they - unlike my other Pippi-patterened matters - will never be inspected or enjoyed by someone loaf shaped and fun.
Yes, everything I do, everything I see, I keep thinking "now this would be something little loaf would like, this would be perfect for a photo session with loafie, never mind I dropped that piece of carrot on the floor, liquorice nose will snatch it in no time" - but there will never be any pitter patter of loaf paws on my floor ever again. You keep expecting his little shaggy, mischiveous face popping up demanding to be lifted up in sofa when you watch TV, getting a litte sandwich piece when I'm having breakfast, licking our plates with great gusto after dinner. Laughing about his farts, sighing over him always wanting to be the center of attention. All his little noises and quirks, never again. After nine years all that is so familiar and comforting. How many years will it take to make it unfamiliar again?
And I can't help but thinking about the things unbearable I dreaded in January. That in the end turned out alright. But then it happened anyway. Unexpected. The thing unbearable.
Some of life's lemons are just not suitable for lemonade, pie or G&T.
What will the rest of the year 2013 be like, I wonder.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Spent a portion of the day at one of my favourite places in the whole wide world, Skogskyrkogården - The Woodland cemetery, Unesco World Heritage site - lit a candle for Little Loaf lost, and for all other loved and lost over the years. It was a sweet and utterly sad moment. Few places are better places to be when you feel like that though. I'm glad we went there, even if it was cold, windy and filled with sorrow.
The day also held lots and lots of walking, a lovely lunch - any meal with halloumi is - good soy latte and many errands.
If it wasn't for the fact that upon getting home and not having the usual overwhelmingly hearty welcome by a little dog I wept like crazy it would have been a really rather fine day. I suspect many many days for a long long time will be rounded off with tears when I get home not being greeted with a wagging banana tail.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Tulips will continue to be beautiful, no matter colour.
But there will never ever be any tulips inspected by
a little liquorice nose of the loaf dog extraordinaire kind again.
One of those daily details that will continue to break my heart,
a little, every day.
Monday, February 18, 2013
Woken up by a phone call from the animal hospital in the middle of the night. Little Loaf had gotten worse, he had difficult to breath and his heart was struggling. A surreal conversation, with a veterinarian I've never met before. We rushed there and even if Malte, the sweetest little loaf in the whole wide world, was really happy to see us he was struggling, his self but at the same time not. A difficult decision was taken. He was put to sleep with us there, soft words, hugs, kisses and tears.
We were blessed with far to few years with your fabulously endearing and michiveous tyke behaviours, you were deeply loved and will be deeply missed, little dearest loaf with liquorice nose.
Malte, Norfolk terrier
2003-08-04 -- 2013-02-18
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Thank you kindly for well wishes and good thoughts regarding Little Loaf's ordeal, a vet called this morning and said he was doing well, heart rhytm normal after medication, eating again, but she wanted him to stay on until tomorrow so a heart specialist could have a proper look and assess the medication needed. He might also have issues with his adrenal gland. I just hope it's something that can be controlled with medication sans nasty side effects. Hopefully he will be able to come home tomorrow.
He is missed, his quirks and silly behaviours, the pitter patter of energetic dog paws, keeping the cats in order, the sounds of a dog in the house, an energy missing, a sense of four paws, banana tail, liquorice nose attached to scruffy loaf little misplaced.
To venture out in garden without him around, felt wrong. And actually, despite his annoying herding techniques, I do believe the kitties agree, some more than others. Hey loaf, come home soon, we want to cuddle!
oh, sometimes life seems set on handing you lemons again and again - the truly not suitable for lemonade, pie or a G&T - when things are looking up, on its way to balance, health, prosperity (of sorts) and so forth.
a couple of weeks after his latest surgery malte was his old energetic, happy self. until late afternoon today - of course the things that need urgent veterinary attention happen on weekends and odd hours... - when his breathing suddenly became very shallow, gag reflex showing a lot, definitely not his usual self. so off to the animal hospital, where he seemed a bit better, but not alright.
as his small heart murmurs (noticed only this last year) has led to an enlarged heart (noticed at the ultrasound before the recent surgery) it may be issues with retaining water and difficulty for the lungs working properly. so he got to stay at the hospital, again, so they can give him proper attention and care.
feel free to send good vibes for little loaf's recovery.
we are so very tired and sad about life's lemons.
please bring on the wagging tails and good times ~
Friday, February 15, 2013
Yes they're complete tykes, but not a day goes by that I'm not completely and utterly happy I decided to keep all three of them,
Zigne, Ztina and Little Blue (Ågot). Such darling personalities, each in their own way.
Happy weekend one and all!
Thursday, February 14, 2013
As usual I don't do commercial days like Valentine's, Father's and Mother's Day etc etc and so forth. They're simply tiresome galore to me. Thus these nails have nothing to do with it being February 14th today - no sweet treats at all, but I have a lovely, heart recipe from last year - , pure coincidence that the nailpolish chipped - Seche Vite top coat, pretty crappy if you ask me, after one time use only but still, with all the hullabaloo from near and far, I am very less than impressed... - and I felt it was a good time to try some hearts out. (Granted it's always a good time to try some hearts out really.)
My first time with making nailart dots wasn't a happy time, but for a first time go at hearts on nails I think this looks okey. Lots of room for improvement for sure, but okey. At least left hand nails, right hand nails' hearts are just hilariously bad. I'm sure it's easier to be artsy with someone else's nails, but even so, I don't think my talents will ever comprise nailart. And that's alright. I'm in awe of people who master it, such a delicate and fun kind of art.
Nailpolish used; Opi Dulce de Leche + Essie Splash of Grenadine + Big Spender
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Which semla I will enjoy today is still a mystery, since I will be nowhere near the place of the Stockholm super semla nor the best classic semla in Stockholm. But hopefully it will be a rather enjoyable one.
Happy Fat Tuesday,
I do hope you're having a spectacular, semla filled day!
"semla, semla, we all dream of semla"