this is what i'm made of

The week that was, the first of October, my birthday month, has certainly been an emotional rollercoaster - not at all as the devastating one of 2016, I'm needless to say grateful for - but partly from work related stress and anger because of unrealistic expectations and demands from client. But at least I wasn't alone in feeling this. Hopefully we can clear this up, set up a decent structure and move on to (more) greatness this week.

To partly stress mixed with excitement from new project finally starting. Which also got me thinking about how much extra time one generally has to put in to learning new project tools. Project tools and procedures that some seem to think is the most natural thing in the world that *everyone* knows already. It isn't. And even if they're easy enough to learn they initially also take a lot of extra time to get the hang of. A more or less steep learning curve. I've done it before, I will do it again. But to be honest, a lot of the time the technology is really time consuming, not necessarily time saving and efficient, even if that's what we like to think it is. Smart yes, time saving, well...

I'm also thinking that when the technology and (less than well thought through) routines take so much time, that really doesn't bode well from a financial point of view. The budget and compensation level aren't realistic anymore. I'm pretty fab at working fast without losing quality, but sometimes there's only as much as you can do when it comes to that. Partly because of technology, part because of human behaviour out of your control.

And working my way through texts and technology I get this distinct feeling of much ado about nothing. I'm my own worst critic so I really really REALLY look through everything a gazillion times before I hit the submit button. Pretty sure I will still have to do some rework of these initial texts. And since it's not a passion project I'm also pretty sure I don't see it as a long term thing for me, unless I'm able to really work down the time spent on each task it's just not worth it. But still, always grateful for the opportunity to diversify my skills and work.

I also know that in the long run it's good for your development with a bit (or more) resistance. But I believe that resistance and obstacles to work with is much more rewarding if it's a passion project, wouldn't you agree? So I also see this as a good lesson in what I really should spend my time with, work with, and what I shouldn't.

This upcoming week I'll also start another little gig that makes me really happy. I'm going to be food inspirer on Instagram for the great vegan food box from the all organic company Årstiderna (The Seasons). I've found myself in the same ol' rut when it comes to cooking lately, very uninspired in general so I've ended up eating oat porridge for dinner more often than not. It's going to be such fun to be inspired AND inspire others to green, sustainable, healthy, animal friendly and not least very tasty cooking! I tried their vegan food box this past spring and it was lovely, especially one of the dishes was incredibly tasty and easy to make - beetroot quinoa. (I'll share the recipe soon.) You can find the account on Instagram at @veganskamatkassen - hopefully I'll see and inspire you there soon!

I'm constantly fascinated how seemingly vastly different things, happenings and not least people end up being connected in the strangest of ways these days. Or maybe this past year has been one great big eye opener. I've always said I believe in serendipity (or syncronicity, but that's not nearly as lovely a word) and magic and when the time is right things start to make sense. Perhaps this is the amazing time for it now. I keep trusting the process.

In 2013 I also wrote about being in a happy place, everything didn't work out as planned back then. And to be honest I don't think I was this at peace then with my life and how things are, in parts have turned out to be through things out of my control. The soul searching, the hard work, the aha moments this past year, especially these past six months have been exceptional. And the fine fine people I've met in all this, what can I say but wow, an abundance of gratitude for that.

Now, what about the pin above? Ever since I read about the amazing title in 2014, I think it was, it has been my dream job title. Not that I really would like to be employed as it, but if it could be a gig, a project, now that would be quite quite awesome. However I don't believe that true happiness and content at work necessarily come from having a sea of pom pom balls in the office, having a table tennis room, funky design or even free food. Neither do I believe it stems from open-plan offices (quite the opposite, my dear!) or forced team activities, scheduled fika breaks working from an unrealistic notion that everyone is created as an extrovert clone.

I believe that the secret (which shouldn't be a secret these days really) to a happy work environment is to actually see the difference in personalities and needs - and please do get rid of those ridiculous open-plan offices! - to create a happy and productive co-existence for introverts, ambiverts and extroverts where everyone respect the respective needs on a daily basis. We are all responsible for the work place culture, yet so many don't seem to get that. That's where I think the Chief Happiness Officer would do a great job.



I'm also willing to take on the role as CLO simultaneously, Chief Listening Officer. I firmly believe the world needs more of those. Too many people tend to talk too much, very few listen. And look where that has gotten us, in so much unsustainable, void of compassion trouble.

All the awesome work title pins I got at a brilliant little book release on the future of the professional life, where I also got to meet the robot Ariel and other neat people.

Must not forget to mention I baked some great vegan cinnamon buns for Cinnamon Bun Day on October 4 - that will also be a recipe I'm going to share soon. I know I'm not sharing as many recipes as I once used to, the reason is not only the lack of inspiration I mentioned above, it just somehow seems a bit trivial when there's so much other amazing stuff going on in my mind and outside right now. But the world do need more easy and tasty plantbased food so I promise I'll share some delicious recipes this week.

I had also set out to write something about the infamous Impostor syndrome in this post. Because it's crazy how no matter obvious competence you have and evidently skilled you are as well as comfortable and confident in your self esteem, the ugly notion of being a fake pops up its head now and then. If you came to my home you would not believe I'm such a perfectionist as I am in work, far from. I'm a bit Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde in that aspect. I find that both liberating and rather annoying. But still, a clean home is a sign of a wasted life, it's one of my favourite quotes for a reason.

But pops its useless head up it does sometimes, that syndrome, even more so recently when people I don't know so well yet, or people I didn't know thought so many amazing things about me, say truly great things about me, even recommend me without hesitation. So again, wow, gratitude. And I don't say this with any fake (slightly pun intended) modesty, I really feel blessed and grateful for this. And I'm getting better at ignoring that pestering syndrome, which obviously has nothing to do with a lack of self esteem. Funny how things are, and how the brain works. But of course, I should know that by now, and it doesn't have to involve the offer of a ride.

"I Got that sunshine in my pocket, got that good soul in my feet" -

bring on week two, sweet October of mine, I'm so ready for your greatness!