Friday, August 04, 2017

dancing under the stars

The long, light, warm summer evenings and dark, starry lit nights lately have been a truly treasured thing for me. In the perfect seclusion of my garden I put on headphones and dance like nobody's watching but the bewildered cats - who demand regular belly rubs, back pats and cheek scratches before they continue chasing night insects and eachother through the dry, summer grass and shrubs - and the ever watchful stars above. It has been a lovely source for me to collect my thoughts and impressions of the day, feeling empowered and inspired. 

And I'm so grateful nobody can see me.

You know how last summer in the city was kind of cancelled due to the chaotic, stressful public transport situation with replacement buses for the commuter trains? This has been the case this summer too (which makes it the third summer for it). However this time it hasn't been the same stations involved as previous years so the replacement buses and options have been a few more. Slightly less stressful, but very time consuming and annoying just the same. 

Since I did have a few business meetings during these summer months I had to get a travel card, because single tickets would just be ridiculously expensive. And with a travel card and no real plans other than a workation staycation kind of summer I've been experimenting with those different travel options, buying lunch or coffee to go, sitting myself down on a bench with a view and simply feeling very fortunate in life, circumstances and not least the beautiful city I call home. Always followed by a long, brisk walk with my own thoughts as company alone. Which make me all but alone. 

Those days when I have no particular job to finish, no particular place to be or time to meet, when I can just stroll, sit, think, take silly pictures and be mindful of my place in time - they've been blissful. Such a lovely breathing space and reminder that amongst worry and searching for my place in life, my kind of people, that special feeling, life is quite spectacular. 

Filled with tiny moments of wonder.

And then yesterday I had a job meeting. I'm not sure if it was an interview, because that was my mindset going there but in the end it was just a really great meeting for a position that I feel would be perfect for me, my background and skillset. And I got the impression that feeling was mutual.

What's extra fascinating is that pretty much a year ago I was involved in a recruitment process for a similar position in a similar company, which turned out to be so very awkward and completely wrong for me, with my gut feeling basically screaming at me to get out when I stepped into the room. I have never felt so out of place in an interview situation before or after. It was like we were from two different planets, speaking different languages. 

I really didn't get their product/service, they had basically zero enthusiasm and vision and how could anyone thrive in such an environment? And how was I suppose to be able to market and sell it with no passion to be found?

This meeting yesterday, this product/service (beautiful design, great potential), this vision, this enthusiasm, it was the complete opposite, this I completely got. And embrace. Without reservation. And for you who know me by now, irl or by words only, you know I'm not easily smitten - if it's not a furry animal - rather the opposite. So I'm *a bit* surprised, but perhaps this reaction is how it's suppose to be when it's right? And honestly, things are so much better when you don't have this and that reservation about the product/service you're supposed to work with and what value you can bring to the table, when it just simply makes perfect sense.

When someone actually seem to appreciate me for being me because of my particular skillset and broad background - where the common denominators have been communication and text production in various forms - and not despite it. Rather liberating. And surprising. As much as I got them they seem to get me. 

Not sure what will happen now, but I've decided to feel stoked because it's a great feeling. I've also decided to trust the process - which isn't my strongest feature (hello impatience my ol' friend) - and when things happen they are meant to.

My weekend will now be spent working with the next chapters in the grief recovery process handbook and prepare for our next group session, first after a month's break, next week. It is a time for healing, tears, laughter and meaningful insights. It is the time for moving on. 

And dancing under the stars.


CrimsonAnna said...

I hope there won't be this public transportation mess next summer. It really takes some of the joy of summer (said by the more of an autumn soul that is me). I'm a bit of two-legged terrier, so I defy it. But all the fun things one could do with the wasted time...

Beth Waltz said...

Brava! You're making the most of the transportation mess: When one can't travel easily, take time to enjoy the waits or stay home and dance!

Your blog reflections on life's lessons reminds me of the "Sometimes" vlogs of Justin Scarred, whose main channel focuses on travel, popular culture and American history. If you found his "Origins of the Quest for Positivity" (Q4P) interesting, perhaps you'll invest an hour walking through a park with him while he talks about "Insanity -- It's OK to Move On" (his decision to give up his career as a musician) and "Let's Talk About Therapy -- A Serious Sometimes Vlog" (he heartily endorses getting help). I think he's one of your people, Pia.

So glad you're excited by the prospect of a new job!

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