Wednesday, August 15, 2007

A Case of Q

Now and then you read a book, an article - or a very well written blog! -, see a movie, a documentary, listen to an interview or have a very vivid discussion, and it gives words to nondescript feelings in the sense of an aha-experience. Sometimes that experience is only a positive one, the answer to a lot of questions or the question with a big Q. A mind evolving case of joy.

Others the experience is that of a feeling of relief, you're not alone, there are others in the similar situation, there are help to be found. It's finally a step in the right direction. The push you've been waiting for.

And then we have the the aha-feeling that makes your blood boil, when you scream and shout, cry and curse - and hopefully go out there and turn that anger into something good. A small step for a greater good.

What I am going to elaborate a bit on now, is the aha-experience which means there are changes that have to be done, unpleasant changes - at least in the short run - private life, world, over-turning ones, changes that will cause a lot of pain and possible grief. That scatters in wider circles. Changes that will probably make you question your own wisdom more than once.

Because however progressive they might be, they also mean having to say goodbye to the private comfort zone that you've come to love and cherish, of some sorts. The world you've grown into, the things you take for granted, have come to depend upon - even though you know, deep inside, you shouldn't have. But they sure have their virtues... And it's comfortable. No surprises to be expected - not any really bad ones anyway. And the nice "surprises" are always foreseeable.

In ways so very relaxing. You are you, here and now, and you don't have to dissimulate, just be. Or not. To be. That is really the great Q. Are you really you, here and now? Or is there another you, another little you waiting in the coulisses, waiting for entry clearance? So far just a nymph, waiting for the wings.

In many ways I consider myself an independent-know-what-I-want-don't-care-what-others-might-think-person - and in other ways quite the embarrassing, fainthearted opposite. My three letter name just gets the better of me. When I really am a wolf in sheep's clothes - I too have teeth and not only bleat.

I haver, having a case of grand Q.
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